Caveat Emptor

Given the recent spirit of the age, and because we are parents extraordinaire, we've started to give the kids allowances.

(Of course, it took months of hemming and hawing and procrastinating careful consideration of our options to get to this point, so they have been kept waiting for some time.)

They're quite the thing, allowances. Do you tie them to chores and use them as bribes for servitude? Do you say that being part of this household = sharing in the money that comes in (no strings attached) but in the same breath point out that being part of this household = sharing in the responsibilities that keep things working smoothly?

(Potay-to, potah-to, some might say, but we've chosen the latter. But I'm extra sneaky - I only hand out allowances on Saturday if chores are done; otherwise, they have to wait until the next day to receive allowances-that-aren't-tied-to-chores.)

And how much? Is this a bit o' spending money, just enough to blow on Pic-a-Pop and Fun Dip? Or is it more serious, leading to budgets and clothes purchases and "if you want brand name blue jeans you can very well pay for them out of your own money"?

After much of the aforementioned procrastination  deliberation, we decided 50 cents per year of life per week was a good formula, the total of which would be divided between the ol' Spend-Save-Give jars.

Two weeks in, and the kids were rabid to dip into the Spend jars, so two little fistfuls of dollars accompanied us on tonight's trip to the mall to buy pants for The Boy (sigh, again. It's a good thing I like his ankles - I see them a lot. Although, given his propensity towards the pants-less-ness, maybe he doesn't really need more than one or two pairs).

I must say, I'm awfully glad we didn't give them more money. Of course, it's our own fault we took them to the Dollar Store. The Girl came home the proud owner of a graduation-themed teddy bear promptly dubbed "University Bear" and The Boy got some [airquote] "Yu-Gi-Oh" cards with some serious Chinglish to betray their knocked-off-ness.

Blue-eye White Dragon! A dragon in the legend with the magic Power to destroy all oppoments! Wonderful Power you can not imagel!!!

Fighter of Sun! While fighting against monster and statistics for facts about damnification,effective to boost the offensive of the card up to 500 points!!

Of course, all of this Happy Spend Time would be incomplete without a sobering but instructive life lesson:

A Conversation Overhead

Dad, what's "interest"?

It's where you borrow money from someone and they charge you. Like if I borrowed a dollar from you, and you said you wanted a dollar and five cents back.

Dad, I'd never charge you interest. You could just have the dollar.

That's good. Don't become a loan shark.

What's a loan shark?

It's someone who lends someone else money at an exorbitant interest rate. And know what happens if you don't pay back a loan shark?

What?

They break your legs.

[...] Why do they break your legs?

It's an incentive to pay them back. Just think, if you just got to keep the money and nothing happened to you, then everyone else would just keep the money, too.