The Siren Song of the SAHM

For starters: I love being a "working mom."

(And for me, as you all know, working mom = working-outside-the-home mom. It certainly does not mean that for everyone and I mean no disrespect to those hard-working at-homers, but given that I don't really "work" when I'm at home, it's just the term that best sums it up.)

But there are days when I hear the seductive melody faintly across the waves. The notes that sing of leisurely, home-made breakfasts with my children. Of going out for coffee during the day with the other parents. Of having time to volunteer as a field trip chaperone. Of playing in the park with my children right after school. Of falling ill and not needing to call in anywhere.

The song of the stay-at-home-mom.

On days like today, when The Husband is slooooowly wending his way back from the latest trip (with only enough time between this one and the next one to do a bit of laundry), when The Girl pulled another 102 degree fever out of nowhere the night before, when I run panting to my bus with seconds to spare because I got lost trying to find the alternative daycare site, I feel ever so tempted to hand in my resignation, enroll the kids in an English school (because it's free), and put a pot of coffee on.

Of course, the lure is only as strong as my idealistic notions of what my life would look like. I've been there, done that, yet for some reason I forget how much I hated being at home. Loved my kids, hated being a SAHM. I was bored, frustrated and unfulfilled. I lost precious brain cells because I did no more than watch Treehouse all day. I squandered my time on mindless activities instead of "investing in my children" (whatever that means).

At least, this is what I tell myself as I lash myself to the mast with memories of what my SAHM life was like and conscious thoughts of how good my job is and how much I will come to love it. Doesn't make the grass seem less green on that side of the fence, but at least it will keep me safe from doing something silly like quitting my job tomorrow.