The Social Obsession

Nice Teller at Big Bank: Sure, I can activate that check card for you. Can I see some identification?

PM: Sure! [rummages through purse] Oh...shoot...you know what? My husband and I were doing all this banking stuff online yesterday and I forgot to take my driver's license back from him. Do you want me to come back? [suddenly dreading what's coming next]

NTBB: No, no problem. Could you just give me the last four digits of your social?

PM: Um...okay...yeah. This is going to sound a bit strange, but.... I don't know.

NTBB: [with disbelief] You don't know your own social?

PM: [miserably] No.

No. I don't know my social security number. I have a finite space in my brain, and the "government-issued ID number" slot is currently occupied by my social insurance number, thank you very much.

Part of me is scared that if I memorize my "social," it will displace my SIN. And then, I ask you, how am I supposed to call to find out my student loan balance?

But I think the main reason is that I just can't. It's like that whole Fahrenheit thing. It is impossible for me to wrap my poor little Canadian head around.

Now ordinarily it isn't an issue. I've got the number hidden in my phone in a sneaky format, and if I'm filling out some form, I can go look for it. But when they ask me point blank, it looks a wee bit suspicious for me to surreptitiously look at my phone while trying to stall with comments about the weather.

Last week, the reconnect-my-cable guy actually laughed at me on the phone. "You don't know your social? Bwa ha ha ha ha?'

Yeah. Super funny.

The only solution I've found (since actually memorizing the darn thing isn't an option) is to play the Canada Card. It's amazing how much you can get away with.

"See, I'm from Canada. We don't have them there, and I never need it, so I have trouble memorizing it."

To which the nice, if still somewhat suspicious, teller said, "Ah, I see. You're from Canada and your husband was here and you just came down to be with him. Makes sense. For a minute there, I was really wondering. I almost confiscated your card."

Um. Yes. Exactly. I just came. Four years ago. Yep.