You Can't Possibly Anticipate This Kind of Thing

Me: What's this on the floor? It looks like...red dye....

The Boy: Oh. That's from that paper I brought home from school. The bright red one, you know? And how it got wet when I dropped it in the snow?

Me: (furiously scrubbing) This is really bright dye - I don't know if I'm going to be able to get this out.

The Boy: Oh. Then you probably don't want to see my wall.

Me: (dumbfounded) ....

[Two minutes later]

Me: (furiously scrubbing yet again, dizzy from inhaling fumes from undiluted Mr. Clean). Okay, seriously. What on earth possessed you to wipe it on the wall? I get that it was wet and you wanted to wipe it off, but that's what TOWELS are for. Why THE WALL?!

[This "Parenting: Sometimes You Don't Even Stand a Chance" moment was brought to you by the fine folks at my kids' school who thought it was a good idea to encase the school directory in the brightest, bleedingest cardstock available and then send it home with the youngest child in the family on a snowy day.]