An Open Letter to the Powers That Be at Chipotle

Dear Sirs and/or Madams:

First, I must congratulate you on the awesomeness that is your restaurant. Fresh, tasty ingredients; a simple, yet varied menu; and a speediness of service that has me in and out in five minutes even during the lunch rush.

I am - as you are well aware - exceedingly fond of the vegetarian bowl. The rice and black beans (my favourite beans of all!) combine to create a complete protein, and the addition of fresh tomato salsa, a ladle-ful of guacamole, and a big ol' handful of lettuce makes it ever so tasty.

It was a stroke of genius (if I do say so myself) when I realized that the aforementioned vegetarian bowl, if both shaken and stirred, became a perfect chunky dip for those crispy, salty chips of yours. Truly, it is heaven in a disposable bowl. And all this for only $6.59 - really, it's an oasis of happiness in the middle of my day, particularly consumed while reading Oscar Wilde plays.

My one complaint, and the subject of this letter, is that the vegetarian bowl is simply too good. It calls me with its siren song each day. In fact, its lure extends 20 miles and 6 hours away to my kitchen each morning as I contemplate packing a lunch from home. Despite believing strongly in the economic and nutritional sense of brown-bagging it, and recognizing that this month's Amex bill will include a numerical value in the "Paid to Chipotle" line that will make your shareholders very happy, the thought of this majestic medley too oft proves overpowering.

So please, think of my bottom line. And my bottom (those chips ain't baked and that's a whole lotta guacamole). Can we come to some sort of compromise? Perhaps offer the vegetarian bowl only once a week? Then you shall have profits from my purchase 100% of the time you make it available, and my wallet will be fatter and my waist will be slimmer.

Yours most faithfully (if a bit too faithfully),

PM