Well, Now *There's* An Invite We Won't Get Again Anytime Soon

So the kids went on a "play dayt" yesterday (spelling courtesy of The Girl). Her BFF invited her over after school and, to be kind, the invitation was extended to The Boy as well. We were a bit uncertain as to how things would go, what with the 2 vs. 1 dynamic that is always present whenever there are three children together, but both children insisted they would play together nicely.

Uh-huh.

My first inkling of trouble was when everyone arrived home after The Husband had gone to pick them up. The Girl came into the house and informed me that she was supposed to go to her room to think about three things she could have done differently.

Next, The Boy came sobbing into the house, wailing incoherently about going to his room and three things and bathroom words.

Then The Husband came in grimly. I sympathetically rushed to uncork a bottle of wine while he proceeded to tell me that when he got there to pick them up, his eyes met a chaotic scene of children running and screaming. Our son had apparently turned into a monster-child and had been throwing things, stuffing the dog full of people treats, and yelling "bathroom" words. Initially stalwart, our daughter succumbed to the lure of the forbidden and soon began shouting her own obscenities. Then their hostess fell prey to temptation and, totally corrupted by our children, joined in on the linguistic crimes.

The mother (who was all by herself in the midst of this, poor woman), mustered up a weak smile for The Husband and remarked, "He sure has a lot of energy. And a lot of gas."

Oh yes, the farting. Not the "pretend-sound-from-your-mouth" kind to go with the bathroom words. The "oh-my-goodness-what-*is*-that-smell?!" variety that belong exclusively to him.

So the two perpetrators were hauled out of there and we had some very long time-outs and very serious conversations. I sent an apologetic email to the mother and The Boy will definitely be apologizing on Monday (if she's even speaking to us anymore).

I, for one, blame the kids' school. (It's certainly not our fault, of course, although when The Boy informed me later that his hijinks had also included the removal of his pants, I *almost* felt convicted enough to track down a book by Dr. Dobson that would admonish me for sparing the rod and spoiling the child.) Nope, it's certainly the school and their decision to have indoor recess almost every single day for the last two weeks. Getting sweaty in the gym is simply not enough. My demonspawn children require copious amounts of fresh air and lots of running on the field to get rid of enough energy to make them function properly.

Sigh. Somehow I'm doubting that this excuse will fly with the other mother. I'll try to look on the bright side - maybe the word will get out about our kids' *ahem* behavioural issues, and we'll receive fewer birthday party invites - buying all those presents gets expensive!

Do not be fooled by their mild-mannered appearance.