Sanctuary

I was between books the other day, casting about for something to read.

(A dangerous and scary place, that.)

So I figured a trip to the library was in order.

Now Reason #1,759 Why I Live a Spoiled Life is that I work downtown only four blocks away from the central branch of the Minneapolis library. That's right - I'm only a brisk walk away from a huge building filled equally with books and sunlight. I can pop over, grab whatever's on my list, and be back in time for the afternoon's Fun Times with Technical Writing!

(PM, thy name is Geek.)

And so I headed on over to fill up my book bag. As I wandered the shelves, I realized that I could feel my shoulders relaxing. My breathing was deepening (the better to inhale that gorgeous mustiness of shelves upon shelves of books). I had this crazy half-grin on my face.

Now I haven't felt stressed lately, but a quick peek at my calendar reminds me that there's been an awful lot on ye olde plate in the past while. And so, while I wouldn't have said I was feeling the pressure, being there in the library and feeling myself relax made me realize that I had been.

And it got me thinking about why I felt so relaxed. And whether there were other places where I felt that way (because I'm so about making something like that repeatable).

I think the reason I uncoil in libraries is because I am more me there than I am in other places. I think we all go through life more or less ourselves - in new, scary situations we're much, much less ourselves while in those places where we feel most comfortable, we let our guard down and allow ourselves to be ourselves.

The library is a place like that for me. So is my church sanctuary (not just my "church" as in body corporate - I never felt in our old building the peace that I do in our new one - sad as that is).

Strangely enough, my home doesn't always function as that place. I think it's because I tend towards the "to-do list" view of my home.

There are other "places" where I'm most me:

- Drinking Safeway Select Orange Spice tea in a kitty-cat mug

- Snuggling with one (or, better yet, two) of my babies, especially when we're all half-drowsing our way to sleep

- Cozying up to The Husband on a Friday night, lights turned out, opening credits rolling, hot popcorn and cold beer at the ready

- Listening to Billie Holiday

- Reading Terry Pratchett

Now these aren't just "favourite things" a la raindrops on roses. No - these are thin spaces - places where I'm so close to Heaven that I can almost touch it. I suppose C.S. Lewis would call it being surprised by joy - these places where I feel so at peace, so relaxed, so pretty near perfect that I could probably spend eternity there and consider God to have made complete good on His promises.

In other words, Heaven is a library.