This Must Be What Hell Is LIke

ARGH!!!

Did any of you ever watch The Twilight Zone? I watched the odd episode as a kid. Not sure how that made it past the parent censors, seeing as how anything that wasn't animated or didn't have Michael Landon in it was verboten.

I remember only one episode, probably because it scared the living daylights out of me. It's about this nerd (librarian? statistician? technical writer? I can't remember what his actual occupation was). Total pencil pusher, coke bottle glasses and all. There's a nuclear event of some kind, and for some reason he is The Last Man on Earth.

He isn't all that upset by his predicament. First, he's not the most social type. Second, he finds himself surrounded by the remains of a library. Piles and piles of books, scattered as far as the eye can see. He smiles. Suddenly he has all the time in the world. Suddenly no one is going to make him get his nose out of a book. Suddenly, it's heaven on earth.

Until he gets up and tries to make his way to the treasure trove. And trips. And his glasses fly off. And he searches desperately for them until he hears the crunch.

Then the camera cuts close to him raising his smashed glasses to his eyes.

Fade out to scream of anguish.

(Ack. I've got goosebumps right now just remembering it.)

I have nightmares about not being able to read. You know that game you play where you choose what you'd rather lose - leg or arm, taste or touch, etc.? (Am I the only one who whiles away the wait for the bus in such a macabre way?)

Sight is always the last thing to go for me. I'm terrified of going blind. (Which is why I refuse to watch meteor showers. Read Day of the Triffids. You, too, will hide under the blankets during the asteroids that have everyone else outside on the lawn.)

Which is why I"m freaking out right now. I just went for an eye exam. He asked if he could dilate my pupils. I said, sure. I laughed when I looked in the mirror - I look like a drug addict. It seemed funny at the time.

But you know what?? If your pupils are dilated YOU CAN'T FOCUS!! I CAN'T READ!!!!! I try to focus, and I can't. If I make mistakes in this post, it's because I can't proofread it. I can't decide whether that receipt is truly trash or whether I might need to return what I bought since I can't see what it says! I can't read my email. I can't surf. I can't pick up a book.

Fade out to scream of anguish.