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Hello?

Hello?

Is this thing on?

Yep, still here. Still pretty uninspired, so this is a But I'm not dead yet post.

Like most Midwesterners (and, I daresay, even more Canadians), my brain is semi-frozen. Kinda like when your brother-in-law visits you and your new husband in your first apartment on his way to a first date and you try to impress him and make supper by drowning frozen manicotti in spaghetti sauce and putting it in the oven and an hour and a half later it's still only partially cooked and he has to call his date and say he'll be a bit late.

(Surprisingly, that one didn't work out. At least, I never heard anything about the girl again. Definitely for the best, since the sister-in-law I ended up with is totally awesome.

[Come to think of it, I'll bet that we totally dodged a bullet due solely to my culinary misstep. My entire family should be thanking me for the crisis averted.])

We're doing well, all things considered. (And by "things" I mean "PM's crrraziness" and by "considered" I mean "ignored.") The Girl is busy making valentines. The Boy has now declared Magic Treehouse books to be "too babyish" and is attacking Percy Jackson.

Gah. I'm totally out of juice here. How about a nice Top 5 list to make this post worth something?

Top 5 Happy Things From Today

1. Chipotle. My coworker and I go on Fridays or on the last day of the week we're both in the office, whichever comes first. She's off Thursday and Friday this week, so WIN! (Although, Chipotle is making me sad right now. It's decidedly less Mexican since the recent crackdown on illegal workers. I get the need for laws and stuff, and I know I had to jump through my own hoops to become a legal worker down here, but still...some of them had kids.)

2. The Boy's Youth Group. The Boy was invited to a local church youth group (or is it called just Clubs at this age?) by his BFF last week. He loves it with his whole heart, especially since tonight was the carnival and he somehow managed to come home with a 2 litre bottle of Barqs as a prize.

3. My new iPhone. Well, "new" is a bit generous since it's just The Husband's cast-off. And "my" is also a bit presumptuous since I'm still trying to figure out how to turn it on and use it. I've asked The Husband to delete his contacts since I was just trying to figure out how the phone work and it started dialing his boss. So we need to put up some fail-safes before I can really lay claim to it.

4. The Netflix app. Read it and weep, Canucks. Know why I'm so jazzed about the iPhone? Because I CAN STREAM BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER ON THE BUS. Ohhhhh yeah. No internet usage capping for moi!

5. I can FINALLY take "Blog, already!" off my to-do list.

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I'm here...

...Reputedly the coldest capital city in the world, in comparison with which Moscow is merely chilly, it is preparing at the end of the year for its annual ferocious assault on the endurance, good nature, and ingenuity of its inhabitants..."

(Robertson Davies may have been talking about Ottawa, but not too hard to substitute "Minneapolis" these days.)

Apologies for the absence. My soul went into hibernation a few weeks ago and I haven't seen her since. I'm doing everything "right" - good eating, decent sleeping, lots of exercise, as much fresh air/sunshine as I can. But it's basically like PMS - it helps to know the cause and to be kind to yourself while you wait it out, but ultimately you just need to wait until spring.

Still, I can manage a quick roundup:

- Christmas was good. Short, but sweet.

- School is school. Although tonight's waterworks reminded me that it's been awhile since we've enforced homework properly.

- The Boy (to the shock of us all) has turned into a reader. He sets his alarm for 5:30 am so he can read for an hour and a half before he has to get up. He has smashed through The Magic Treehouse series and is deep into anything remotely mythological. Know any other eight-year-olds who roll their eyes at the randiness of Jupiter? Or who say "reading is like video games. Except way better."

- He is also in chess club now. Loves it. Beats me half the time.

- The Girl fell in love with Judy Garland the other day when we watched Meet Me in St. Louis. Yep, she's mine.

- The Husband is almost done his crazy workout program. Ask him to show you his ripped-ness. He likes that.

- I am doing a modified version of the crazy workout program (and by "modified" I mean "I fast forward through anything I don't like. Plus any bonus rounds. Plus all the hard stuff." So don't ask me about my ripped-ness anytime soon). The goal is to burn off the malaise. It is not working, but my pants fit a bit better, so baby steps.

- The big news this week is that The Boy turned eight. When spring comes and my brain wakes up, I hope to be able to wrap my head around this fact.

Sigh. Have I pulled you down into the Slough of Despair with me yet? Never fear, brave Christian, this shall render ye free:

(The Boy's birthday party was to take his BFF to a Wild game. Good times indeed.)

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I'm Dreaming of a Not-Quite-So-White Christmas

Dear Old Man Winter,

It has come to my attention that you seem to have misread the date on your invitation to this year's festivities. My calendar quite clearly indicates that your arrival is scheduled for tomorrow.

However, it has not escaped my notice that you have descended upon this part of the world somewhat earlier than requested. In point of fact, sir, your eagerness to join us has gone beyond an innocent knock at the door five minutes before the appointed time (causing quiet consternation on the part of the hostess who rushes to put away the vacuum, smooth her hair, and pretend she is not huffing and puffing when she throws open the door and welcomes you heartily) but has, instead, turned what was to be an enjoyable visit into a prolonged seige.

You are perhaps unaware of the difficulties posed by your unlooked-for coming, and so I feel an obligation to point out to you the following statistics:

- 2.5: additional hours it took to drive to Manitoba three weeks ago
- 2: number of church services cancelled this month due to too much snow
- 5: amount (in pounds) of extra bean casserole the PM family was forced to consume after missing the church potluck due to one formerly mentioned church cancellation
- 45x2x3: number (in minutes) added to my commute due to snow-filled parking lanes that forced cars to park (where else) in the driving lanes
- 1: collapsed Metrodome roof
- 2: useless Vikings/Giants tickets

I do apologize if some of the preparations I made for your coming (namely, washing parkas in August, buying mittens in September, loading up with root vegetables in October, and buying two sets of winter tires, kids skis, outdoor running gear, and a new parka in November) may have suggested that I was anxious for you to arrive. In truth, this was more "ant vs. grasshopper" than it was "let it snow, let it snow, let it snow."

In closing, please consider that your actions of late have not only pushed our cities' snow removal equipment beyond capacity but that you have also brought about a premature return of my annual bout of seasonal affective disorder.

We are out of hot chocolate, the Christmas tree lights are burning out, and the bus stops are merely snow drifts with signs stuck in them.

In short, I request that you cease and desist.

Sincerely yours,

PM

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The Origin of Sweetness

"Where I'm From"

I am from delicious taco Fridays, from the loud coffee maker, and homemade hummus.

I am from sweet Vancouver and Winnipeg.

I am from strolling on the wandered trails of the bush and fresh-picked raspberries.

I am from ice cream cake on my birthday and blue eyes, from H to Emster, Peters and Kroeker.

I am from the rainy day read-a-thons and sleeping in till eleven o'clock.

From "wait a second, I'm almost done" to "if I could have any little girl in the world, I would choose you."

I am from Mennonites.

I'm from Peter's mistake, the kryptonite, and my dad's gray hair.

I am from pranksters and tricksters.

I'm from a kiss on the cheek and the sound of my nighttime radio.

~ by The Girl

(Edited - I didn't know we had a multi-media version, so you can hear the poetess yourself!)

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Guess We Won't Be Needing Those

Sigh.

Poor The Boy. He and The Husband were supposed to go to the game yesterday as a (very) belated birthday present. They'd been planning it for months. We made arrangements for The Girl to stay at a friend's place weeks ago. The Boy was counting down the days until Sunday. The Husband juggled his travel arrangements to make sure he only flew out after the game.

Sigh.

Quite the dumping of snow we got over the weekend. I missed the majority of the fun, having beat it out of town early Friday afternoon up to a fabulous weekend away with some BFFs in extra-fabulous Fargo. By the time I got back, the interstates were mostly clear, and even the side streets I needed were okay.

Fairly serious snow mountains at every corner. We even drove past the dome yesterday - so strange to have no roof.

Not so strange is that I'm playing both Mr. and Mrs. Mom roles again this week. Not that I minded today, as it gave me an excuse to work from home, avoid venturing out into the deep freeze, and listening to Christmas music.

Oh, the weather outside is frightful, indeed.

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You Can't Possibly Anticipate This Kind of Thing

Me: What's this on the floor? It looks like...red dye....

The Boy: Oh. That's from that paper I brought home from school. The bright red one, you know? And how it got wet when I dropped it in the snow?

Me: (furiously scrubbing) This is really bright dye - I don't know if I'm going to be able to get this out.

The Boy: Oh. Then you probably don't want to see my wall.

Me: (dumbfounded) ....

[Two minutes later]

Me: (furiously scrubbing yet again, dizzy from inhaling fumes from undiluted Mr. Clean). Okay, seriously. What on earth possessed you to wipe it on the wall? I get that it was wet and you wanted to wipe it off, but that's what TOWELS are for. Why THE WALL?!

[This "Parenting: Sometimes You Don't Even Stand a Chance" moment was brought to you by the fine folks at my kids' school who thought it was a good idea to encase the school directory in the brightest, bleedingest cardstock available and then send it home with the youngest child in the family on a snowy day.]

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