Who's Running This Show, Anyway?

[door opens, PM comes in, sets down her luggage]

WHAT the...!

[looks around in shock]

I am positive that when I left on my unannounced hiatus, I told you Blogger Elves® to post regularly. And now just look at this place! It's filthy! It's stale! It's all [hands waving in air wildly] COBWEBBY!

This is just perfect. Juuuust perfect. What do you think all four PGT readers are thinking now?! They're thinking that I just up and left, that when my kids were gone to Grandma's for two weeks that I simply abandoned all housekeeping duties (including, but not limited to, bathroom cleaning, laundry, and/or blogging).

That I haven't cooked anything harder than a frozen pizza in two weeks. That I've tried all sorts of new restaurants, gone to a movie, and walked leisurely down by the lake more times than I can count.

That The Husband went on a business trip last week so I had even less interest in doing anything and descended into a languid stupor of Old Dutch and Terry Pratchett.

[...]

DON'T give me that. Yes, of course that's all true. But they weren't supposed to know about it! YOU were supposed to maintain a presence over here in this corner of the internets, not lie around drinking and thinking of good blog posts without actually writing them. Like me.

HARUMPH. All I know is, this is the last time I leave you guys in charge. Next time, I'm hiring an intern.

[grumbles, picks up broom, starts sweeping]

Want something done...do it yourself...stupid elves...thank goodness school starting next week...back to normal around here...grrrrr.